The Happening Review

This will be super short…This movie blows dogs for quarters. I like M Night alot. I’ve liked almost everything he’s done…except Signs.

I was the only person I knew who liked LADY IN THE WATER, except the end-it was boring. But I draw the line at this. THE HAPPENING is at best

a interesting TWILIGHT ZONE 30 minute episode…but this movie is a hour and twenty minutes long. I maybe would have enjoyed it if it didn’t turn

into WAR OF THE WORLDS and follow around a boring “family”. Oh and the acting from EVERYONE was AWFUL. I enjoy MARK WAHLBERG alot in action movies,

this is not what he’s good at. M NIGHT neuters him and makes him a feeble, powerless man.  The movies just bad. I would excuse this type of awful if it was a

student film, which it felt like but the acting was actually worse…go figure.  Enough of this I want to get to my funny picture captions…

CHARLES GRADE:F

PROS: The soundtrack was creepy

CONS: The movie wasn’t creepy, You can see everything coming, The 1st part of the ending wusses out, The very ending can be seen a mile away, awful acting from good actors, dumb idea for a 1 and 21 minute movie, dumb idea for a movie period, people try to out run the WIND! Everyone acts like they’re M.Night during a interview.

“I see a awful movie and awful acting on the horizon“

“Hulk hate puny plants…especially daisies…Hulk hate this movie, plot even slimmer than Hulk’s”

“On the newsfeed today we’ve got reports of a awful movie that has plants as the killer”

“No this is not M.Night during a interview, No this isn’t a picture of the audience of this film(although it could be), It’s about as much real emotion that you’ll get out of anyone in this movie…everyone feels bored.“

GEORGE CARLIN R.I.P

George Carlin, legendary comedian, died at the age of 71 on sunday. He was always a favorite comedian of mine when I was younger, his frankness and admittedly blue material won over (and alienated) people every where. As a fan of comedy I feel the comedy community has lost a legend. George Carlin from one fan to a Legend, the only thing I can take from this is that at least you get to do your 7 words personally for the big guy. R.I.P

LEAKED FRINGE PILOT REVIEW

FRINGE (Tuesdays, 9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT): From J.J. Abrams (“Lost”), Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, the team behind “Star Trek,” “Mission: Impossible III” and “Alias,” comes a new drama that will thrill, terrify and explore the blurring line between science fiction and reality.

When an international flight lands at Boston’s Logan Airport and the passengers and crew have all died grisly deaths, FBI Special Agent OLIVIA DUNHAM (newcomer Anna Torv) is called in to investigate. After her partner, Special Agent JOHN SCOTT (Mark Valley, “Boston Legal”), is nearly killed during the investigation, a desperate Olivia searches frantically for someone to help, leading her to DR. WALTER BISHOP (John Noble, “Lord of the Rings”), our generation’s Einstein. There’s only one catch: he’s been institutionalized for the last 20 years, and the only way to question him requires pulling his estranged son PETER (Joshua Jackson, “Dawson’s Creek”) in to help. When Olivia’s investigation leads her to manipulative corporate executive NINA SHARP (Blair Brown, “Altered States”), our unlikely trio along with fellow FBI Agents PHILLIP BROYLES (Lance Reddick, “The Wire”), CHARLIE FRANCIS (Kirk Acevedo, “Oz”) and ASTRID FARNSWORTH (Jasika Nicole, “Law & Order: Criminal Intent”) will discover that what happened on Flight 627 is only a small piece of a larger, more shocking truth.

WRITERS: J.J. Abrams, Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman

DIRECTOR: Alex Graves

-http://fringetv.blogspot.com/

I hate to say it but yes I did get my hands on a leaked copy of FOX’s new Drama, FRINGE. FRINGE is written by JJ Abrams and Alex Kurtzman, everyone knows JJ Abrams from ALIAS and LOST. So with this being JJ Abrams new show I went into it hoping to like it, or at the least enjoy the pilot because no one does Pilot’s like Abrams. Now as soon as it started I was thinking “again with the plane? Really?” but by the end of that scene I was both confused and very disgusted. A good thing all around.

I actually couldn’t believe they were able to be as crazy gross as they were, maybe FOX is good for something. Outside that the show feels like a X-Files(which I never liked, because I didn’t like the main characters) mixed with the crazy stuff of Abrams past pet projects. Abrams seems to have a love for showing a world alot like our own, but with the crazy dialed up almost to giant heights…but so far in a good way.

The actor choices work, I’m actually really glad Joshua Jackson is back doing stuff again, I know he’s had a couple small movies, he’s a pretty good fit in this show. His character is the only one who’s constantly questioning their actions, and that could be good if done right…in other words he’s the Swayer character of this show.

The main character Olivia Dunham, is played by Ana torv, who I don’t believe I’ve seen in anything before but I like her. She’s a good solid female character, she’s not weak or female insane…she’s the Kate character…lol

I get the feeling FOX told him “please give us a real serialized story like Heroes or LOST” and in the first shot he’s scored. FRINGE does have the FOX look, that dark look to their shows…I don’t get it but it’s something that Playstation has too, it’s almost as if theres a very dark filter put on everything they do…but that’s okay, it works for this show. I’m not going to ruin anything in the show, because surprises are what make shows like this.

The Pilot’s really good…really good, so much so I really wish we didn’t have to wait until September for it to start. Just one more note of criticism, I hate the floating location names…I don’t like them on HEROES and I don’t like them here. Oh and the freaking pilot is two hours and your strapped to your seat for both of them.

CHARLES GRADE:very high B+ (I can’t give a pilot a A, but this was pretty close)

PROS: Awesome crazy mystery, Characters don’t feel like every other character out there (although they easily could), Has the same sound structure of LOST, Unlike LOST we won’t be stuck in one place for the whole show.

Cons: Hate I have to wait until September to see if the next episode is going to be any good, Has the same sound structure of LOST(those damn Soap Opera violins), the show could let me down and lay an egg once it gets going.

FRINGE TRAILER

The FRINGE musketeers

“I’m craaazzzyyy”

“Hello there HURLEY…oops wrong show, I’m on FRINGE too. I’m Abrams go to mystic black man.”

“Let’s go, Charles is actually gushing over something..he’s finally lost it.”

WTF?

Some products and commercials should never be made. Look at what some genius thought was a good idea to make…

WTF

The Middleman pilot review

So I watched the pilot episode Monday, and I have to say I wasn’t expecting anything. I never read the comic(I don’t know how I missed it) so I knew next to nothing about what it was going to be like.  So as I was watching I had two thoughts: Man this chick is like a young, poor man’s ROSARIO DAWSON. And it’s simple fun. Now the show is more Men In Black than BUFFY but that’s fine. The story is pretty much a slacker chick is recruited by The Middlemen because of her reaction, or lack thereof to a crazy situation. She’s a girl after my own heart, she likes X-Men( “Old school, not that Ultimate stuff”) Video Games…and MOUSEGUARD. After she said that I was instantly in love with this show. Now it does stray into the JUNO dialogue pool(it’s a little too crafted and it beats you over the head with it, to the point it can easily take you out of the experience) but like Juno it works…after awhile. The guy who plays the senior Middleman is cheesy and seems to be stuff in a time long gone(like K in Men in Black). Maybe it does rip off alot from Men In Black, but that’s okay with me…I loved the cartoon and am glad something else is around to take up my silly-science fiction quota. I would be lying if I said this is a show for everyone…because it’s painfully not. This is a show for nerds, plain and simple. It’s not as bad as say Battlestar Glactica but it’s pretty hardcore nerd. I mean it mentions MOUSEGUARD. To me and my people she would be the perfect girlfriend, or at the least the perfect buddy to play XBOX 360 with at 3 in the morning. I hope it doesn’t rely on the monster(or in the pilot-ape) of the week format for too long. But even if it does it should do it pretty well. I have CHUCK, REAPER, BIG BANG THEORY, and now I have THE MIDDLEMAN to add to my nerd centric life. Oh and the chick is hot.

Kinda look alike…both are hot none the less

Natalie Morales                                                          Rosario Dawson

the comic book

CHARLES GRADE: B+(for the pilot, we’ll see about the show)

Pros: Nerd Funny, Men In Black(the 1st one) like, silly fun, bleeped out curses are hilarious

hot foul mouth lead character. Not widely accessible, if you don’t like the subject matter.

Cons: Not widely accessible, dialogue is a little too 1st half of JUNO like(not a total bad thing)

ART I LIKE

My homeboy Joe is a awesome artist, so I’m going to show him some love(no homo joe..lol) on my new page. This spider-man is out of this world. If ya don’t like it you have no taste for really good art.

freaking crazy.

CHARLES GRADE: A+

I can do that cause this is my site. So pat yourself on the back Joe. You deserve it. I’m telling you now your going to be doing a ton of stuff for me when I start up my animation studio.

this is Joe everybody, I picked this cause he’s wearing a Superboy(Conner) style shirt.

FUTURAMA: BEAST WITH A MILLION BACKS REVIEW

Alrighty it’s about that time again. I’ve watch the latest FUTURAMA movie, a sequel of sorts to the awesome BENDER’S BIG SCORE. While I’ve always loved FUTURAMA and all the characters there was always something I was afraid might happen given the nature of these characters. BENDER’S BIG SCORE was awesome and it was great to see it back in old form. Now BEAST WITH A MILLION BACKS falls in the category of being alright at times, but taking WAY too long to get to the funny stuff. While there are a ton of episodes of FUTURAMA that I love there is also a few that are god awful, or that just drag too much. With BIG SCORE was three great episodes, MILLION BACKS is more like two not so good episodes and one pretty good one. I’d even go so far as saying this episode is a big letdown after the insane craziness of BIG SCORE. Now with there being one more “movie” hopefully they can get their story telling back on track, because MILLION BACKS kinda drags through about 90% of the movie. It felt like they were just going through the motions, shoe horning every joke that’s already been done to death into this movie. To me this movie kinda blows.

Yeah I know for anybody who knows me knows how much I love FUTURAMA but this movie is not good and sad to say barely funny. It falls flat more often than it scores, which is not a good thing in a comedy show or movie. Maybe it I could cut out about a hour of the movie and left only 30 minutes then maybe I could have liked it.

CHARLES’ GRADE: C-

Pros: the last 30 minutes were funny. some of the physical humor was funny, but did nothing to keep the story going.

Cons: Too much screwing around, that wasn’t funny. Nothing happened for most of the movie and it felt like the movie went on FOREVER! Story bits made no sense in the grand scheme of things.Too many un funny story bits overtaking the kinda funny premise. Bender’s story was totally useless until the last 30 minutes. The professor had no reason to be around, and it showed.

Do your self a favor and skip it (I know FUTURAMA fans won’t be able to, but I warned you) and just watch:

Currently reading : Scott Pilgrim, Vol 4: Scott Pilgrim Gets It Together By Bryan Lee O’Malley

REVIEWS COMING SOON

I was just re-reading the awesome Geoff Johns’ run so far on JSA(Justice Society of America), the best team book out…and I realized what I love the most about his run is his final pages of certain issues that give the reader a little peak at whats coming up. So since their are no new ideas, just a new twists(See Hollywood, TV, Etc) I’ve decided to do something like that. So I’m just going to lay out whats coming to my little ol’ blog in the next couple of days-months:

-SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN season 1 review: with the 1st season ending last saturday I’ve decided to watch all the episodes again and review them by themselves and as a whole for the season.

Smallville Season 7 review: I like smallville alot, and I’ve decided to rewatch season 7 and like with Spectacular Spider-man review each episode on it’s on and as a whole..but where Spidey had only 13 episodes Smallville has around 22 or so. so its gonna be a 2 parter

HELLBOY 2 and HELLBOY video game:
I liked the first one and am looking forward to this one ALOT!

GET SMART review
I liked the show, and am hoping I like Steve Carell in the usual comedy after EVAN ALMIGHTY…but I really like DAN IN REAL LIFE. So we’ll see.

FRINGE pilot
With JJ Abrams attached I have to see it. So I got my hands on the pilot from a friend so I’m going to watch it and review it.

FIREFOX 3

I’m a nerd, no doubt about it. FIREFOX 3 has gone live today. Just downloaded, happy day.

Currently listening : Narrow Stairs By Death Cab for Cutie Release date: 2008-05-13

INCREDIBLE HULK VIDEO GAME REVIEW

So I rented The Incredible Hulk video game, mostly because I enjoyed the last Hulk game: ulitmate destruction. The controls for Ultimate destruction made you feel like you really were the hulk. Now that being said, Incredible is pretty much a next gen repolish of Ulitmate destruction…but it does fall alittle short. In Ultimate destruction controls were key, in Incredible controls seem to fall a little short. Climbing and running along walls was the most satisfying thing in Ultimate Destruction, in Incredible climbing walls is one of the most annoying things. As you grab a wall you literally slide down as your climbing…now I know the Hulk is heavy but I would have to assume he has the strength to support his own weight. I mean if the Hulk can stand on top of a skyskrapper I would think he could climb said building without too much trouble. For his size Hulk is fast, I mean his thigh muscles should be able to propel him pretty fast, but I never got that feeling as I slow sprinted down the street. I did like the populated New York, although after playing GTA this city still feels like no ones around.  The graphics are good, as they should be in a next gen game, not the most beautiful thing ever but good. Now on to the missions, while playing through a good number of missions I really felt like I’d played all these missions before in Ultimate Destruction…but in more areas. I miss the desert from Ultimate…playing in New York was fun for awhile, but I was itching to get the hell out of there because you don’t have room to do anything with out alerting the army. I did like the fact that a giant green monster is running down the street should alert the cops but being in that city it’s impossible to just explore the city…which I thought was the reason you make it a sandbox title. All the usual video game mission cliches are here…escort, assualt, courier…the Hulk doing his best Niko impersonation is ridiculous. I’m the Hulk, why the hell am I doing errands…doesn’t spider-man pick up some slack god. The bad guys are of course annoying, fighting against the army is about the same as fighting ants on a picnic,they are like little gnats. Which is good…for a while. Then there are the vehicles…I takes 6 hits from the Hulk to take out a humvee? Really? That’s my main problem with the bad guys, they are able to take a ridiculous amount of damage from a creature that can toss a tank (in movies). I don’t think the developers actually saw a Hulk movie, it shouldn’t take that many hits to stop a vehicle from the Hulk. He’s the Hulk. The sound in the game is pretty good, it’s the usual roars and grunts the Hulk makes (until he needs to talk for extra umph) and when buildings are destroyed(see takes forever) they sound and look great. Like with the movies, it hasn’t been very long between these glimpse into the Hulk’s story…but unlike the movies the 1st one is the better (except the fight scenes in the first movie were WAY better).  Where Ultimate Destruction was a strong buy, Incredible is a rental.

Charles’ Opinion: Rental

INCREDIBLE HULK

VS

ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION

Graphics:Very Good

Controls: Not So Good

Story: Even with the added stuff, not so hot

Replay Value: Um not really, if you make it through more power to you