Final Crisis is turning into my kind of event, it has heart and real stakes. As a huge fan of DC COMICS, I’ve seen the DCU heroes fight big battles forever. This is the first time we get to see what they do before what could be the last battle they fight. I loved the sentiment that things have looked bad before, but when SUPERMAN tells them that they’re bad, everyone listens and takes it serious. So many great scenes in this from SUPERMAN sitting on the porch with PA KENT, to NIGHTWING going on patrol with BATMAN and ROBIN one last time, to GREEN ARROW babysitting RED ARROW’s daughter…just heartbreaking and very true to the rich history of the characters. This book also made me look at GEO-FORCE differently, I never really enjoyed the character and wasn’t to pleased that he got a spot in the revamped JLA by Brad Meltzer…but with this I see what Meltzer was doing the whole time. This is what I wish more mainstream comics were.
CHARLES’ GRADE: A
Pick of the Week Runner-up
FINAL CRISIS: ROGUE'S REVENGE #2
Geoff Johns can do no wrong with characters he revitalized. The rogues are easily the most interesting and well thought out villains in comics today. They’re easy to relate to, but truly threathening in a fight. Unlike most villains they have a certain code and they will do anything to up hold it.
The ‘WHY DO I STILL READ THIS OF THE WEEK’
This was a close one, but Spider-man took it by a hair.
I liked the last storyline but this latest storyline just reminds me of the problems I have with the Spidey Universe right now. I’ve had various levels of interest in BND. When I enjoy it, it’s good…ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN is still significantly better, but my problem with certain storylines and the whole thing that it’s just the millionth time I’ve seen things is starting to weigh on me. In this issue the THUNDERBOLTS show up, and I didn’t really care. I know NORMAN is a douche and I know sooner or later he’s going to go down, it’s boring…and it’s been done a million times, better I may add. I’m not even going to get into the ANTI-VENOM thing or the fact that neither Norman or the symbiote(which was on peter’s body) know Peter is SPIDER-MAN..ugh. I thought the last storyline was good, but this is just back to a rehash or remix of all the Spidey stories I read when I was younger. It’s the whole ‘SIMPSONS did it’ arguement…I’m bored, can I get something else?
CHARLES’ GRADE:C-
‘WHY DO I STILL READ THIS’ RUNNER UP
SUPERMAN#679
I have never dropped a SUPERMAN book, it’s not in my nature. I’ll stand up for SUPERMAN’s books till I’m blue in the face, but with me actually enjoying the last 5 years of SUPERMAN stories this is a big deal. At least this is a better issue than the last…but why do I feel like words and scenes are constantly missing from this book? ‘For why’ you ask, well that ‘for why’ crap and stuff like it in the dialogue are kinda getting to me. Lois not being a strong female and acting like 1970’s Mary Jane gets to me and a Superman book where Supes and his supporting cast are acting very strangely. Plus whatever his name is(the villain) sucks. This is BORING. At least Robinson writes KRYPTO in a interesting way that fits, to bad he can’t do that for the humanoid characters. Please make it stop hurting. I was already kinda not digging the idea of a ton of Kryptonians coming to earth(it defeats the whole SUPERMAN thing in DCU), but Robinson on the book is boring me. I’m going to give it 3 more issues but I think I may be dropping this book…it’s just bad.
NEXT AVENGERS...OR HOW TO PUT OUT A CRAP STR8 TO DVD MOVIE
Okay, there’s something you should know about me…I love teenage versions of characters. I’m a sucker for ROBIN, SUPERBOY, KID FLASH/IMPULSE. On the Marvel side their aren’t that many, but THE RUNAWAYS and YOUNG AVENGERS are awesome. If LIONSGATE and MARVEL had done a movie about either one of those two actual good young heroes story I would have been estatic. I was actually kind of excited when they announced it with the kinda good DR.STRANGE movie. So flash forward a year later and it finally came out, and it’s awful. First off the movie doesn’t play by it’s own rules, the first time we see most of the “kids” they’re at least 5 or 4(except PYM)…they create full sentences for god’s sake. But we skip 12 years later and they look about 12. If the kids on that poster look 16 or seventeen to you, you need help. The kids acted like they were in elementary school, it was confusing. The only good thing about this movie was the first couple of minutes and Hawkeye. THOR’S daughter is the worst character in the movie. I don’t remember her name…I bet its something creative like ‘THORINA’…actually I think it is something like that. I did like Cap’s kid at first and he actually acted like a young version of CAP, but he’s just so dumb it’s ridiculous. I don’t know who this is made for, it’s defintely made for fans of the AVENGERS and if it’s for kids I’d tell them to watch a good kids cartoon in SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN or LEGION OF SUPER-HEROES. This is what’s bad about kids cartoons, the story is dumb and doesn’t really make sense and it’s just bad. I’m not even going to get into the idea that CAP and BLACK WIDOW would have a kid, or that HAWKEYE didn’t name his kid after STEVE ROGERS…at least Cap named his kid after BUCKY. This movies just bad.
CHARLES’ GRADE:D
PROS:1st couple minutes seeing the AVENGERS.
CONS: The rest of the movie, the fact this movie is actually worse than ULTIMATE AVENGERS 2. The animation was awful.
The only good part of this movie, this one scene
God this movie shouldn't have been this bad...ugh
These kids do not look like they should be about 16 or 17
I would have preferred the movie be this, instead of what I got
When MARVEL announced another Spider-man cartoon, I have to say I wasn’t even thinking about the show. The last really good spidey show was the one from the early 90’s. That series, except for the last two seasons, was insanely good. Then they tried to break what made spidey good and put him in the future with SPIDER-MAN UNLIMITED…ugh. Then there was the MTV one, which was ok but kind of dark and bland. The reason I even bothered to check it out was because I had been surprised last year when I watched SUPERMAN and The LEGION OF SUPERHEROES. I’ve watched every episode on the air date, and recently I rewatched the season again. So here it goes.
SPECTACULAR MAIN CAST
Episode 1-SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST
An elderly scientist named Adrian Toomes plans his revenge against Norman Osborn after accusing him of stealing his flying technology. Donning his own flying suit, Toomes takes to the skies to enact his revenge and it’s up to Spider-Man to stop him. Peter is concerned that Aunt May is running out of money. He tries to make money for the two by making a deal with J. Jonas Jameson that if Peter can get pictures of Spider-Man in action, Jameson will pay Peter money.
This is the first episode and it feels like it. Thankfully with the intro serving as the origin story, I didn’t have to sit through the spidey origin for the millionth time. The way this episode works is in the fact that they know you know who SPIDER-MAN is and they do what alot of “kid” shows don’t do anymore…they treat the audience like they have a brain. I’m not a huge fan of the VULTURE , but that didn’t matter. Just the fact that they got the supporting cast right and had Peter torn between villains was enough for me. Also the end of this episode actually made me very happy.
CHARLES’ GRADE:A
Episode 2- INTERACTIONS
An electrician named Max Dillon becomes the supervillain known as Electro after a freak accident and it’s up to the Spectacular Spider-Man to stop his rampage. Meanwhile, Peter tries to tutor the popular Liz Allen.
Ok this episode keeps some of the steam from the last episode…when Peter is SPIDER-MAN, but the Peter and Liz stuff was not good. At least with ELECTRO they kept the theme that at the heart of these villains don’t start off evil, but are through a bunch of bad things turn evil. That’s some interesting stuff to weave into a kids show. I hate LIZ ALLEN, I’m glad she’s not a huge cast member because her voice is annoying and so is her character.
CHARLES’ GRADE:B-(would have been lower, but the ELECTRO stuff was really good)
Episode 3- NATURAL SELECTION
Peter Parker and Spider-Man both must learn to own their choices when decisions made by Dr. Curt Connors transforms Pete’s mentor into The Lizard.
This episode plays on the fact that being SPIDER-MAN and PETER PARKER can screw up your life. Although this episode is defintely the usual Peter can’t catch a break and LIZARD story, it’s such a good classic story that it’s good everytime. Hey man the guy has to make a living…
CHARLES’ GRADE:A
Episode 4- MARKET FORCES
Peter Parker has to choose between helping Aunt May pay the bills or buying a camera to further his career. Meanwhile, Montana (the Big Man’s Enforcer) becomes the stunning Shocker to fulfill his responsibility: eliminating the Spectacular Spider-Man.
Ok, very smart idea to tie into the sudden emergence of villains by having them all get supplied with powers. This is pretty interesting that they bring back a character from the first episode, so much for a kids show. I loved the fact the MONTANA(aka THE SHOCKER) kept telling SPIDER-MAN, ‘no hard feelings. It’s just business.’ The fact that Peter learns the lesson of being a man and sticking to your responsibilites from a hired hitman is interesting and unconventional.
CHARLES’ GRADE: A
EPISODE 5- COMPETITION
Peter Parker and Harry Osborn try out for the football team and become a little obsessed with going for the glory. Flint Marko, newly transformed into the Sandman, is out for glory too- at the expense of our Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man!
Okay this is where I realized I’ve never liked HARRY OSBORN. Didn’t like him in the movies, never liked him as a kid. To me Harry is the worst kind of friend, when he’s a loser he’ll hang out with you and when he’s cool he doesn’t know you. I’m nothing if not loyal to my friends, so when I get the sense that a character isn’t a loyal friend I instantly don’t like the character. Nice continuation of the villains being powered by OSCORP and the mysterious BIG MAN. I loved that once again a recurring character is turned into a villain…might be a theme for this show…lol.This was a good episode but once again all the PETER stuff is starting to take a quality level dip to the SPIDER-MAN stuff. We all know Peter’s not going to be a football player…
CHARLES’ GRADE: B-
Episode 6- THE INVISIBLE HAND
Flint Marko’s former partner, Alex O’Hirn, becomes the Rhino.
AWESOME. We keep the OSCORP/BIG MAN story going. And the second part of the gruesome twosome from the beginning of the series becomes the RHINO. J J doing the right thing as usual when it comes to Peter…perfect episode to show someone if they ask what’s so great about SPIDER-MAN. Plus Spidey gets the crap kicked out of him and he has to use his brains.
CHARLES’ GRADE:A
Episode 7- CATALYSTS
Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson go to the Midtown High Fall Formal. Meanwhile, the Green Goblin tries to take down L. Thompson Lincoln.
No, just no. This episode we get a three way reveal. We thankfully get a full appearance from MARY JANE, and it’s perfect. But then we get to the awful introduction of The GREEN GOBLIN, who we later find out is Harry osborn…really, he takes some enhancement drugs and becomes the GREEN GOBLIN…ugh. Then we finally get to see the BIG MAN, and it turns out to be TOMBSTONE. TOMBSTONE?! Nice, we’ve been working our way through the low A listers of SPIDER-MAN lore to get to the awful reveal of the Top Villain(Green Goblin) and TOMBSTONE.TOMBSTONE is only a step above HAMMERHEAD, and anybody who knows SPIDER-MAN knows that’s pretty low on the list. Only good part was the Mary Jane parts…ugh.
CHARLES’ GRADE:C-
EPISODE 8-REACTION
Tired of constantly being pushed around by others, the timid Otto Octavius has his robotic arms permanently attached to his back and becomes the deadly Doctor Octopus.
Once again, another villain is finally realized. This show teases the big bad guys very well, because anyone who knows SPIDER-MAN will recognize the character names. It’s just the wait to see the villains emerge that make it so rewarding…sometimes. DOC OCK is awesome in this episode. He’s actually the only villain, so far, to actually be threathing to not just SPIDER-MAN but Peter’s friends. Which is a classic staple of the SPIDER-MAN story.
CHARLES’ GRADE:B+
Episode 9- THE UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
Spider-Man is pitted against the Green Goblin and Tombstone, while Colonel John Jameson attempts to land a damaged space shuttle.
Every time Green Goblin shows up this show screeches to a halt. Green Goblin is more like HOBGOBLIN, which isn’t a good thing. For some odd reason GREEN GOBLIN (Harry Osborn) wants to take over Tombstones business. The SPIDER-MAN stuff is good as usual, and they do introduce the symbiote, but I feel like they’re just pumping out all of the SPIDER-MAN mythos into this 1st season because they’re not sure they’re coming back. No more Green Goblin please.
CHARLES’ GRADE:C-
Episode 10- PERSONA
The Chameleon is out to blacken Spider-Man’s name. The master of disguise loots the city while borrowing Spidey’s look, forcing Peter Parker to get help from Black Cat.
Alright, after that awful episode we get back to the good stuff. The usual CHAMELEON story of him disguised as Spidey story. Nice introduction of BLACK CAT and the BLACK SUIT. This series really can be really good when they do it right.
CHARLES’ GRADE:B+
Episode 11- GROUP THERAPY
Six of Spidey’s toughest enemies band together to get revenge, as the Sinister Six!
The best episode so far. Great scenes allthroughout this episode. Aunt May standing up to the villains, Peter getting the crap kicked out of him the first time he goes up against the Sinister Six. The part that put it over the top for me was the black suit taking over Peter’s body to take out the Six. The fight was epic. The ending was heartbreaking though, with JJ trying to call Peter to tell him about Aunt May being in the hospital.
CHARLES’ GRADE:A+
Episode 12- INTERVENTION
Spider-Man realizes the alien suit is ruining his life and tries to get rid of it. Unfortunately, it has grown too attached to Peter, and doesn’t plan on leaving him.
Um…I understand this is part 1 to a 2 part story but it’s kinda middle of the road. Peter going off on his supporting cast was awesome though. Good bit with FLASH THOMPSON too.
CHARLES’ GRADE: B
Episode 13- NATURE VS. NURTURE
With Aunt May out of the hospital, Thanksgiving coming and the alien suit gone, Peter’s life is finally getting better. However, the Symbiote has survived and found a host within the vengeful Eddie Brock. Now Spider-Man must face this monster, named Venom, a creature that knows everything about him and will stop at nothing to get revenge.
This is what I’m talking about. This episode makes me even more sad about the fact that the 3rd Spider-Man movie ruined Venom so much. The fact that this VENOM was Peter’s best friend, that turned on him made it all the more thrilling when he became VENOM.
CHARLES’ GRADE:A+
————————————————————————————–
CHARLES’ OVERALL SEASON GRADE: B-
PROS: GOOD PETER PARKER/SPIDER-MAN CHARACTERIZATION, GOOD INTRODUCTION OF KEY VILLAINS
CONS: BLEW IT’S VILLAIN WAD A LITTLE TOO EARLY, WHO’S LEFT CARDIAC?, GREEN GOBLIN AND TOMBSTONE SUCKED
So here’s the second installment of CHARLES vs. The X-MEN(imagine a loud theaterical type voice saying it). It looks like I started my X-MEN collection just before JIM LEE came in a rocked my world. I like Uncanny X-MEN but the adjectiveless X-MEN was always my favorite series, mainly because it was the book that contained the blue squad from the awesome squad days of the X-MEN. So until my collection hits the GOLD and BLUE teams, I’ve decided to do this every other day. I also plan on starting the CHARLES VS. MARVEL very soon, because I have a lot of books that take place in the rest of the MARVEL U(mainly Spidey,F4,AVENGERS) so you’ll get to see more photoshopped images of myself against other MARVEL mainstays…but it’s all CHARLES VS. MARVEL.
So here we go again….
UNCANNY X-MEN #235
UNCANNY X-MEN #235, vol.1, 1988
A GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND
WRITER:CHRIS CLAREMONT
ARTIST: RICK LEONARDI
INKER: P. CRAIG RUSSEL
COLORIST:GLYNIS OLIVER
LETTERER: TOM ORZECHOWSKI
EDITOR:BOB HARRAS
E.I.C: TOM DeFALCO
So by the cover you get the idea that this rag tag, slightly powerful team of X-MEN are up against a group of dudes with guns. Considering that only three people on the team aren’t affected by bullets…this should be interesting.
We open up with a giant sign telling us WELCOME TO GENOSHA, now considering this would have been the first I would have heard of GENOSHA I would have been able to tell that something about this place isn’t right. In front of the sign, placed right under the word FREEDOM(subtle Claremont) is a blonde haired man with a baby. I can’t tell if this man is dumb or just not used to the english language, because his speech is pretty weird.
the man see some lights and runs towards them, it seems to be a airport. Then all of a sudden he sees helicopters and seems frightened and calls them MAGISTRATES. He easily jumps over the electrified fence.
The man stops at a plane with a kangaroo on it…wonder where it’s going? He places his son in the cargo hold and tells him goodbye…kind of reminds me of SUPERMAN with this stuff. Someone sees the man and he starts to run to draw attention away from his hidden son. He runs straight towards the MAGISTRATE’S helicopters.
The MAGISTRATE’s call the running man a mutant…of course! We also get treated to the new GENOSHA slang for mutants…gene jokes. Now if their is a off sect of the human species that has the powers of gods…are they really a joke? Nope didn’t think so. The MAGISTRATE’s start to shoot at the running man, who then stops and tosses a armed truck at the helicopters.
More helicopters and armed trucks arrive and they shoot the man, but he’s still barely alive. Turns out this guy has escaped from someone they name the GENEGINEER. The man dies as he sees his son’s plane take off.
we see a close up of the headline for an Australian newspaper:Baby found in jet. Three mysterious individuals are sitting outside a jet in the middle of the outback. They talk about the baby and some girl named JENNIFER RANSOME(nice last name…lol) who seems to have escaped GENOSHA. Through the boring chit chat, we get the three strangers codenames: PUNCHOUT(large, black female in sport tights), PIPELINE(Chubby kid), and HENSHAW(some dapper dressed man). It seems they’ve set a trap for Ms. RANSOME as they stop talking as a plane apporaches.
Inside the plane MADELYNE PRYOR is flying JENNIFER towards the jet. It seems JENNIFER was called thinking that there was someone hurt to help. When they get off the plane, HENSHAW says that he can’t get a reading off of MADELYNE(what?). They spring the trap and grab JENNIFER, MADELYNE tosses sand in HENSHAW’s eyes and runs away.
MADELYNE goes for the radio in her plane and calls ROGUE. PUNCHOUT grabs the plane and tosses it into a abandoned building. The plane explodes just as MADELYNE jumps out.
MADELYNE is pushed into the plane by PUNCHOUT. HENSHAW has JENNIFER inside the plane. PIPELINE is sitting at the computer and we learn that GENOSHA government has the very odd idea that no matter what your a GENOSHIAN citizen. PIPELINE is pressing aways on some haggard looking keyboard, and he zaps JENNIFER into the computer…what? He has the power to reduce things to binary electronic impulses….wow. PIPELINE sets his sights on MADELYNE…for a human she sure gets into a lot of situations hanging out with the X-MEN.
ROGUE flies up to the wreckage of MADELYNE’s plane. She’s communicating with PSYLOCKE to show her the location. GATEWAY creates a portal and WOLVERINE and STORM pop out. Wolverine seems to not be taking this too seriously because he’s just in a tank top and some khaki’s.
WOLVERINE doesn’t smell any dead bodies and gets a sent, but it just disappears. Back in the AUSTRALIAN hideout, the rest of the X-MEN are crowed around a computer. HAVOK gets all touchy about MADELYNE’s role in the AUSSIE X-MEN…weird, HAVOK loves going after his older brothers sloppy seconds.
Next thing we know the rest of the X-MEN pop out at a airport. Um what? DAZZLER’s at least brought WOLVERINE and STORM’s uniforms.
WOLVERINE tracks the scents of the three baddies to a hospital. ROGUE and WOLVERINE go in first undercover(why those two, you chose the girl with red hair, skunk stripe mullet). They try to go into the pediatrics ward, but are stopped by a disguised PUNCHOUT.
WOLVERINE recognizes the scent and clocks PUNCHOUT. PUNCHOUT hits WOLVERINE in the jaw, and wonders why her hand hurts…adamantium of course. PUNCHOUT tries to punch ROGUE, but ROGUE catches her hand and sucks her powers out, knocking PUNCHOUT for the lack of a better word out.
ROGUE’s physique changes to that of PUNCHOUT’s. With ROGUE’s power she knows the bad guys are grabbing the baby. WOLVERINE takes exception to that and runs into a dark room to see HENSHAW and PIPELINE. WOLVERINE rushes them and HENSHAW starts to shoot, but of course it doesn’t do anything to him. WOLVERINE unsheathes his claws and goes after HENSHAW.
PIPELINE ports in a soldier into the dark room and with what seems to be a regular gun knocks out two of the most powerful members of the X-MEN. ROGUE and WOLVERINE are blasted out of the window. PIPELINE wants to get aways asap, but HENSHAW says that they can’t leave PUNCHOUT behind. PIPELINE calls in more MAGISTRATES.
We go outside to the rest of the X-MEN. PSYLOCKE says she’s lost contact with ROGUE and WOLVIE. DAZZLER is pretty nervous that two of their most powerful members were taken out. PSYLOCKE tells the remaining team that the bad guys are now hunting them. All of a sudden the MAGISTRATES show up and open fire. COLOSSUS tells his friends to get behind him, but strangley DAZZLER says nuts to that.
DAZZLER starts to create a strobe to blind the MAGISTRATES. LONGSHOT and DAZZLER follow behind COLOSSUS while they run towards the MAGISTRATES. STORM has broken off from the group and is creating a thick fog to hide PSYLOCKE and HAVOK from the MAGISTRATES.
HAVOK and PSYLOCKE are trying to get away(I think) when more MAGISTRATES ambush them. HAVOK goes crazy and starts to attack the MAGISTRATES. STORM is flying high above the two battles and seems to just be thinking and flying. COLOSSUS takes out two MAGISTRATES that broke off from the group.
While COLOSSUS is fighting the MAGISTRATES, some civilians show up and distract them. The MAGISTRATES take the opportunity and toss some grenades at COLOSSUS. LONGSHOT grabs them and with his crazy luck gets them to COLOSSUS just before they explode. LONGSHOT takes out the fleeing MAGISTRATES. For some reason they’re surprised that guys who shot without warning are willing to hurt civilians to get away.
BIG SPLASH PAGE of the X-MEN (all of a sudden back together) take out the MAGISTRATES.
We see HENSHAW and PIPELINE helping PUNCHOUT away from the fight. They find the unconcious WOLVERINE and ROGUE. They decide to take ROGUE (good idea…no it’s not. You capture a girl who obviously has friends…you really want them to find you and shut your crap down) back to the GENEGINEER.
The MAGISTRATES have been tied up in a couple of girders. The police have arrived and talk about Australia having their own heroes, and that whoever pissed them off is in for some big trouble…some pretty thinly veiled themes that will.
Okay issue overrall. Now we’ve got a reason for the X-MEN to be pissed. Because they basically failed.
There are conflicting reports over director Steven Spielberg’s involvement with Tintin, the motion-capture trilogy collaboration between himself and fellow Oscar winner Peter Jackson.
It was first reported yesterday that, according to rights holder Herge Studios, Jackson would direct the first installment and “Spielberg, who had been tabbed to direct the first installment of the would-be franchise, will now be only indirectly involved in the filming.”
However, it was then reported hours later that Herge Studios was mistaken and that “both Jackson’s and Spielberg’s representatives say that Jackson will direct the sequel and serve as a producer on the first film.” Tintin will be Spielberg’s next directing effort following this summer’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The comics series, penned by Herge (a.k.a. George Remi), follows the globe-trotting adventures of young journalist Tintin (Thomas Sangster) and his various companions — particularly his dog Snowy and his pal the sea-dog Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis). The first Tintin film will reportedly be based on two of the books, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham’s Treasure. Doctor Who veteran Stephen Moffat penned the screenplay.
Spielberg informed IGN last year that the film will be shot entirely with motion-capture technology, which is familiar to Jackson after King Kong and the Lord of the Rings films but still relatively new to Spielberg. The director said that each filmmaker will shoot 30 days of motion-capture: Spielberg would shoot his in the United States, while Jackson would shoot in New Zealand. Spielberg also said that the special effects will be produced by Jackson’s Weta Workshop, but a high-speed internet connection between the two locations will allow the production to receive and process images quickly.
So we’re going with this match first thing? Wow, although JBL is supremely boring in the ring and on the mic, but to have the World Champion as the curtain jerker on the flag ship show….wow. Not a terribley great match, pretty normal JBL style match. Hopefully the next match will be more interesting or better.
Next up is….oh wow…not an awesome start.
KELLY KELLY vs. WOMAN’S CHAMPION- BETH PHOENIX w/ SANTINO MARELLA
OK, anytime Marella is on screen makes RAW better, but I wish they’d stop doing the they look tentitive and kiss bit. It’s boring. But I have to say KELLY KELLY actually did a good job with the wrestling…surprising. With KELLY winning was actually surprising.
They introduced PRIMO COLON(Carlito’s brother)…It would be a good idea to get rid of the trench coat with no sleeves…it’s lame. Hopefully they give him a actual personality, other than being Carlito’s good guy brother…that’s kinda boring and hard to get behind, unless you bring back Carlito to feud with his little brother. Now I’d watch that.
I’m also going to skip the totally pointless to have the Tag Champs fight JERRY LAWLER and JIM DUGGAN…it was a match just to get to the promo at the end…that actually was funny. JTG calling TED DIBIASE a ’silly white boy’ was freaking hilarious.
The HBK/Jericho feud is getting long in the tooth. I always get bored when they try to pull a serious storyline, when we all know wrestling is fake. Just come on and pull the trigger, this is by far my least favorite HBK or Jericho feud ever.
Finally we get to a actually interesting match although I know how it’s going to end.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
KOFFI KINGSTON vs. SANTINO MARELLA(c)
This is for the belt, but we all know they’re not going to take off the belt off of their comedy gold, in SANTINO. I feel bad for KOFI, he was on a stellar push…but he’s just kinda one note. At least SANTINO is actually funny. This is the match of the night, in interest level and storyline progression.
We get the news that REY MYSTERIO is going to be in the Championship Scramble, because CENA’s hurt…which doesn’t fit into the lame storyline they were setting up with KANE…RAW needs to get tighter, the storylines…which drive this male soap opera…are SUCKING LATELY.
So now we get the MAIN EVENT…oh yay, this is going to be just two big dudes in the ring…ugh, I never thought I’d miss JOHN CENA.
MAIN EVENT
BATISTA VS. KANE
So that happened…it ends in a DQ, and with that they literally wasted the last 10 minutes of the show. That’s the way I feel when they end a NON TITLE Main Event with a DQ, it’s lame. With them not going with the obvious feud that should have happened two months ago, they finally have a one on one match and this is what we get…BOOO. I want CENA back! LOL.
CHARLES’ GRADE: D
PROS:SANTINO MARELLA was funny as usual.And the Beth Phoenix and KELLY KELLY match was the 2nd best match of the night…sad but funny.
Keeping with the STAR WARS trend, I’ve come back into the fold. Being a STAR WARS fan since I was a kid, is something I usually keep to myself. I’m a nerd, but in some nerd circles your actually cooler if your not a fanatic STAR WARS or STAR TREK fan. I love almost everything STAR WARS, but when a movie or a game isn’t out it slides to the background of my nerd tapestry. When I first got wind that LUCAS was working on a STAR WARS tv show, I was excited but it never really materialized. Then it was announced that they were doing another cartoon series based on the CLONE WARS. I was less excited. It’s not that I don’t like the idea of the clone wars, it’s just that I liked how it starts in the EPISODE 2 but we don’t see all of it. That leaves things to my imagination and ultimately when it’s the screen versus my imagination the screen always loses. But I did like the short CLONE WARS cartoon series. It was perfect, quick stories with action and threads to the overall movies. When the CLONE WARS movie was Announced I was resistent because I never understood why they stopped the first cartoon series, and it literally looks like they took the designs of the characters in the old cartoon just 3D. The more I looked at the designs, it grew on me. I think the animation is some of the best I’ve seen in a while, that didn’t have PIXAR behind it.
original character designs were "borrowed" for the new cartoon
Now to the story, well this is a glorified pilot for the upcoming show. A beautiful pilot, but a pilot all the same. There are no giant revelations or retcons in this movie, it’s the usual basic-rebel gets responsibilty, somebody gets kidnapped by the bad guys, the bad guys turn the kidnapped persons family against the good guys, the good guys barely save themselves at the last second…roll credits. For as much as people malign episodes 1-3 for the story..think about the story of the original trilogy…yeah doesn’t hold up so well to time, at least the last two movies in the prequels has a love story/tragedy. STAR WARS isn’t known for having the best story, it’s a GEORGE LUCAS story for god sakes that’s not his strong point. The allure of STAR WARS is the interesting concepts and designs of the characters. CLONE WARS suffers and benefits from the same things. The jaba baby was cute, but what baby version of a character isn’t? The new jedi, the annoyingly percocious AHSOKA…alright she’s actually really annoying. Will we get a story about a young hero not being excedingly annoying? I think it’s been done to death, it’s a cliche really that every young person that joins the fold is going to be a wise cracking loose cannon. Can’t there be some young heroes out there that actually realize that their mentor doesn’t need teaching of their own, before the third act? Probably not. Oh and if I never have to see or hear battle droids arguing or being snarky I’ll be very happy.
Oh Obi, you always where my favorite in the prequels
CHARLES’ GRADE:C+
PROS:LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, STORY ISN’T TOTALLY AWFUL ALTHOUGH A BIT CLICHE
CONS:UM STORY IS VERY LITE, AND VERY BY THE NUMBERS. COULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT TO DVD, NOT REALLY WORTH THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR MOVIE TICKETS.
So I’m a huge comic fan. My room is filled with comics that I’ve been collecting since about 1988. While trying to solve my comics space issue, I found a crap load of old MARVEL comics. Most of them were X-MEN, Fantastic Four, Iron Man, Captain America, Spider-man, and AVENGERS. I also found my old DC books, but as a kid I was only interested in SUPERMAN, BATMAN, and the JLA back then. As a kid I was much more into MARVEL, up until right before HOUSE OF M. When that book came out I started to notice a trend…I don’t really connect with MARVEL that much anymore. The funny thing was while I was messing around my room I was listening to TOM VS. THE JLA…which is a awesome podcast from TOM KATERS from the AROUND COMICS podcast. While listening I began to think, imitation is the highest form of flatery. I’m usually against total out and out imitation, but it’s a damn good idea…so here we go. I will say that being that these books have been collected since I was a kid, undoubtably I’ve lost issues quit reading during a run…but I will do my best to fill in what happens if I miss a issue…or lost a issue.
So here it goes.
UNCANNY X-MEN #234
UNCANNY X-MEN ,vol. 1, #234 1988
GLORY DAY
Writer: Chris Claremont
Penciler: Marc Silvestri
Inker: Josef Rubinstein
Colorist: Glynis Oliver
Letterer: Tom Orzechowski
Editor: Bob Harras
Editor in Chief: Tom DeFalco
Okay this is actually the first X-MEN book I remember reading as a kid. I still remember this story when I think of a good use of Wolverine. I liked Wolverine alot back then, until he had kept getting boring solo episodes of the cartoon X-MEN show and he showed up in every book ever in MARVEL. I just remember knowing who everyone was, it was thanks to CHRIS CLAREMONT…back then they bashed it into your head who characters were.
PAGE 1:
we open up outside the MILE HIGH DINER. I have no idea what city this is supposed to be, it’s no descript. This is the kind of diner I’ve always wanted to go to, it’s a classic looking old style diner. We are given information about the history of the MILE HIGH DINER. Striking home the idea that this is just a regular diner with regular customers. in the forground it seems that two young lovers are making out in a diner…eww. Still inside we see a blinding light breaking through the windows. uh oh.
PAGE 2:
A greaser, clutching DAZZLER by the throat smash through one of the windows. Now being that this is a average diner, in a average town(first page exposition) all the frightened patrons can only muster: “Hey a Fight” and “GEEZ”
PAGE 3
The greaser says Dazzlers’ show is over(she’s a famous singer, who just happens to be a mutant) but of course DAZZLER blasts him off with some awesome eye blasts. I love the fact that the dialogue boxes actually tell you everything you need to know about Dazzler, she can take sound and turn it into light(or focused photons).
DAZZLER knocks the greaser(she called him Skunge, but I hate that name so he’s greaser to me)back…and the could is still kissing…Really, I know teenagers are a-holes…but that much of ones, I don’t know.
And what do the people do to help a woman getting accosted by a guy in leather jacket? They grab her. Good old human race…one of them of course calls her a mutie. nice, real nice.
The greaser takes the opportunity and spits out a pink fire ball…I remember reading this and imagining that the guy made the sound mario makes when he shots a fire ball.
DAZZLER screams LOOK OUT to the a-hole humans, but too late. KBOOM everybody’s thrown from the blast. We get a dialogue box telling us the bad guys’ name is SPITBALL(where the hell did skunge come from?) He used to be a mutant, and he can hurl(nice word mr.claremont)spheres of super-heated energy plasma that explodes on contact with any surface…which explains the large explosion we got to see.
PAGE 4
To make matters worse another bad guy grabs DAZZLER with energy arms around the neck. The patrons realize their a-holes and consider what to do, DAZZLER tells them their no match for the brood…my first brood story…and ultimately the only good one I’d read. DAZZLER is just full of information, this guys’ name is WHIPHAND.
DAZZLER is hit and taunted by another BROOD…who seems to have appeared out of no where.
A brave regular human tries to save DAZZLER but when he tries to punch the BROOD monster it disappears. Turns out his name is BLINDSIDE and he reappears behind the guy…creepy.
the regular guy is about to be eaten, we find out humans are delicacies to the BROOD. DAZZLER, still being choked with energy arms, fills us in on the broods plan to turn the X-MEN into hosts for their eggs…this is what they mean by jump on books. I would have had no idea what the hell was going on when I was 6, but the characters tell me everything I need to know to enjoy the story.
and the kids are STILL making out.
PAGE 5(actually 6 but I’m not counting ads in page #’s)
we find out DAZZLER’s not alone, three blades go into BLINDSIDES’ back as he’s about to eat the brave human. We get more Dia-boxes telling us she’s a part of the UNCANNY X-MEN.
LONGSHOT, the newest member(dia-box), kicks BLINDSIDE in the face as he turns around. We even get told that his hallmark is Luck, until…
WHIPHAND grabs LONGSHOT by the throat, and starts to talk crap. But stops when he sees LONGSHOT smile.
COLOSSUS grabs WHIPHAND by the mouth and has his arms around his head…just imagine this being your first time seeing COLOSSUS…he’s freaking awesome.
PAGE 6
we see the people’s reaction and we are treated to a large SNAP! freaking awesome.
some chick tells LONGSHOT to lookout for BLINDSIDE, she actually says blondie…very weird.
Once again LONGSHOT’s luch works out, BLINDSIDE explodes.
STORM flies into the building
SPITBALL tries to run out while no ones looking, to a oldschool ROGUE. COLOSSUS fills us in and tells STORM she’s still under the BROODS’ control. While ROGUE flies away, STORM tells COLOSSUS to gather the others and tend to the wounded and that she’s going after ROGUE.
the kids finally stop making out to notice the damage…but then go back to kissing.
PAGE 7
MEANWHILE…
we’re told that we’re in the australia’s outback, the x-men’s home. we’re filled in that the world thinks the x-men are dead.
we start to go down a dark tunnel with pictures of a red headed woman having a child taken from her. We are told that the pictures are from MADELYNE PRYOR’s dream of SCOTT SUMMER taking everything that gives her value and giving them to JEAN GREY….two bodies are lying on the ground and their are some smashed screens…hunh?
PAGE 8
Um so some naked dude is crouched by who I guess is MADELYNE. She a naked pink thing walking in the outback, and the sun melts her face into a actual face…
PAGE 9
naked MADELYNE trips over a skull and falls down a dirt hill and into water. Naked MADELYNE comes up out of the water, and purple hands put a black cloak on her.
PAGE 10
Oh god, X-men and demons…I’ve never enjoyed that. MADELYNE is now accompanied by SYM, the purple demon…who wears a leather vest and briefs…weird. looks like we’re in her head, which why it has a biker demon I don’t know.
SYM and MADELYNE walk to a golden building with food. There seems to be a weird lizard drinking out of the punch bowl.
SYM grabs it and it turns to gold and he pours the punch, seemingly from the lizards stomach, into MADELYNE’s mouth…ewww.
The whole page is filled with some kind of psuedo intellectual mombo jumbo about dreams being insight into your true nature.
PAGE 11
In addition to having a leather vest and briefs, SYM now has long fingernails with a bunch of different MADELYNE faces on them.
SYM tells MADELYNE to hurt SCOTT back for hurting her. MADELYNE touches the evil looking MADELYNE on SYM’s nail. And SYM stabs his pinkie into her chest.
SYM licks the blood off his finger, gross, and says that there are no dreams…just different tastes of reality and that she’s bound to his now.
Now MADELYNE is in some very skimpy outfit…wow
PAGE 12
we’re in RED ROCKS…don’t know where that’s at.
looks like a packed house. We go backstage to a man dressed in white talking to his wife about the lord and how he wish he had the power to save her…hmmm. Someone backstage mentions a “MUTIE” fight in town. The reverand says he won’t tolerate such remarks. He goes on stage after hugging his wife and telling her that he was blessed the day he found her.
Some lady walks up to the Reverands wife and tells her that she has something that can fix her shaking hands.
PAGE 13
ROGUE is flying while holding WOLVERINE and some girl named TEMPTRESS. TEMPTRESS tells ROGUE that with each breath she’s taking in more and more of her pheromones, which explains why ROGUE is helping the BROOD.
We find out that so far only WOLVERINE has had a egg implanted in him. ROGUE (while under BROOD control) is very excited to be next.
WOLVERINE’s skin seems to have started to change into the BROOD style, but he unsheathes his claws and slashes TEMPTRESS.
ROGUE yells that WOLVERINE’s killed her and toss him down to the earth below. WOLVERINE tumbles and we’re told(via Dia-boxes) that his bones are laced with Adamantium(strongest metal in the world) and that he has a healing factor…see tells me everything I need to know.
PAGE 14
Meanwhile…
A car is speeding down the road…we learn that PSYLOCKE’s been captured.
PSYLOCKE tells them that TEMPTRESS was killed by WOLVERINE and that ROGUE tried to kill WOLVERINE for it. One of the BROOD greasers tells her to locate WOLVERINE. One of the other BROOD greasers asks the driver if he’s wearing his seatbelt…
We see COLOSSUS infront of the car and of course COLOSSUS wins that one. He rips out the engine. The driver bails out and tells his cronies to kill COLOSSUS.
PAGE 15
SPITFIRE blasts COLOSSUS knocking him off his feet.
One of the BROOD greaser(can’t tell which one) is shot by a lightning bolt.
STORM flies in and tells them the X-MEN are hard to kill
the leader tells PSYLOCKE to use her mental powers to fry STORM’s brain. But it seems PSYLOCKE is finally coming back to her senses.
Knowing they don’t have a chance now, the BROOD greasers flee. STORM starts to go after them until…
ROGUE tackles her from behind. ROGUE tells her that the BROOD is going to make her the host for the Queen’s egg.
PAGE 16
DAZZLER and LONGSHOT screech up on a motorcycle. DAZZLER holds out her hand and makes the classic finger gun pose, but she doesn’t have a clear shot. She has to save STORM, but if she hits STORM at full power she’ll kill her.
DAZZLER shots and luckly hits ROGUE.
we switch to see the blast from what seems to be RED ROCKS, where the reverand is, and everybody’s freaking out that the fight in town has reached them
PAGE 17
The rev tells them to calm down. While a battered WOLVERINE slinks by the stage.
The rev goes to help WOLVERINE, while his helpers tell him to stay away. WOLVERINE tells him to stay back too, but he doesn’t listen.
WOLVERINE tells him to leave him be, but the rev thinks he’s talking about drugs. He starts to pray to help, but WOLVERINE starts to go all BROOD in the face, with the teeth and stuff. BROOD WOLVERINE threatens the rev.
PAGE 18
The rev doesn’t back down and prays even harder. Then the BROOD WOLVERINE’s eyes go wide as he realizes…
WOLVERINE’s healing factor is kicking in and killing the BROOD in him. The rev thinks it’s because of the prayer.
A random BROOD grabs the rev by the throat, but HAVOK comes in and destroys the BROOD. HAVOK thinks to himself about his ease at killing the BROOD. As he’s thinking about his temperment after killing, two other BROOD are sneaking up on him
PAGE 19
SPITFIRE actually mentions that HAVOK’s really into his own world, and tries to fry him. LONGSHOT swings in and saves HAVOK.
A wall falls on top of the two BROOD
HAVOK wonders if that’s all of them when the lead BROOD takes the rev’s wife hostage.
PAGE 20
The lead BROOD starts to go on and on about humans are about to be taken over by the BROOD, while he’s yapping, WOLVERINE crawls under the stage.
WOLVERINE breaks through the stage and grabs him and yanks him down under the stage.
As WOLVERINE gets the lead BROOD down and puts his hand under his chin for the final blow, he’s all of a sudden seemingly turned back into a regular young man…who is frightened and asks why the X-MEN are after him.
WOLVERINE thinks for a second about whether this is for real. He says that he the person he was was dead along time ago and that now he’ll finally get to rest in peace…
just a simple SNIKT tells you all you need to know.
PAGE 21
LATER…
The police are at the rev’s shindig and the rev is talking to his wife, who was there…about the X-MEN just seeming to leave…she was there the whole time…lol
Reporters come up to him and he tells them that basically MUTANTS are still humans at the end of the day.
We see the black haired woman who appoarched the rev’s wife smile as she walks away.
PAGE 22
We’re back in AUSTRALIA
and back in the monitor room, where the report from RED ROCKS is on.
We switch to a screen showing the X-MEN coming back home. WOLVERINE congratulates HAVOK on a good job and he’s bummed he had to kill…boo hoo…you shoulda died back then, cause your still a waste of space HAVOK…Although you were awesome in X-FACTOR.
Last panel is MADELYNE PRYOR (in a green dress now) lying on the floor bleeding…
THAT’S THE END OF THAT ISSUE…
So overall good issue, I see why I didn’t bother to remember the MADELYNE PRYOR parts…they’re freaking boring. I did like the fact that the dialogue boxes and even character dialogue tells you everything you need to know about the character…except for PSYLOCKE and HAVOK. I can totally understand why I fell in love with the X-MEN back then.
NEXT: A GREEN & PLESANT LAND(from the actual book)
Well the much anticipated demo to STAR WARS:THE FORCE UNLEASHED. So I downloaded it on off the PSN(I needed something to do with the system other than watching movies). I’m glad to say I liked it. It’s only about 10 minutes of action but there’s something satisfying about using destructive force powers on storm troopers and rebels alike. I still think it’s a little weird that VADER has to keep his padawan. But that little slight to write in a new character into the mythos aside, It’s fun. I’m looking forward to renting the game, not buying because I can’t see this type of game being very long or terribly fun to play through countless times.
This movie is hilarious. This is a movie that appeals to my likes very well. It’s a movie about the failure of filming another movie. These type of comedies always interest me the most, the people involved are willing to lampoon themselves or even friends for the sake of comedy. I’m a admitted comedy snob, mainly because to me it’s the hardest type of movie to create(to me). This movie even puts a ton of my favorite comedic(and semi comedic) actors together. I never would have thought that JAY BARUCHEL would be in a movie with ROBERT DOWNEY JR, or BEN STILLER no less. Now I’ve been known to waver on STILLER being funny but when he’s on, he’s on. Now JACK BLACK is in the movie, and is funny…mainly because he’s lampooning the type of bafoon character he seems to make most of his money being. BRANDON T. JACKSON is also very funny, and is brillantly insulted by DOWNEY’s character the entire movie…but not in a asshole kind of way. The list goes on and on, DANNY MCBRIDE(fellow North Carolina rep),STEVE COOGAN(wish he’d do more movies) and BILL HADER show up. This is a movie that could have really gone either way with me, if done wrong I coulda hated to see some of my favorite actors in a piece of poop(ENVY anyone? JACK and BEN I’m looking at you). I did find myself wishing they would have cut some more stuff out of the movie…all the stuff with the guys in the jungle was genius and laugh out loud funny and wish there was actually more scenes with them together. Now I could have done without so much Tom Cruise or Matthew McConaughey. That doesn’t mean I didn’t like them in the movie, but sometimes they were on screen too much. TOM CRUISE’s character was the one I could have had less of, I thought he was funny…but he would have been better without such long takes. With all his long takes it kind of slows the movie down, but his dancing was great although a little too strange and out there. I know CRUISE and STILLER are friends, but doing someone a favor and putting them in your hilarious movie is nice…just have the balls to cut some of the length down. During the extended CRUISE scenes I found myself slidding out of the movie, because it was obvious STILLER was trying to give him time to show a different side to himself so people could get into him again. I respect STILLER for it, but I would have enjoyed those scenes to be a bit tighter, or cut in a way which speeds them up to get to the funny one liners(which he did have a few)or put on the DVD. Gratuitous friend service aside, the movie was funny as hell. I enjoyed PINEAPPLE EXPRESS a little bit more, because I felt it was tighter…but this movie is my #2 favorite comedy of the summer.
CHARLES’ GRADE:B+ almost a low A-
PROS: The trailers for the characters in the movie were genius, Everything in the jungle was awesome
CONS: Little too much Cruise for my liking, the last McConaughey part was almost too silly…I literally said “WTF” when it happened
Dude I know Cruise is your friend, but couldn't you have trimmed his part down a bit?
I am BUNG-HOLE-O give me your T.P
HEY! He gave us a B+ because he felt we should have been on screen even more than we were...WTF?
