CHARLES VS. THE X-MEN #2

So here’s the second installment of CHARLES vs. The X-MEN(imagine a loud theaterical type voice saying it). It looks like I started my X-MEN collection just before JIM LEE came in a rocked my world. I like Uncanny X-MEN but the adjectiveless X-MEN was always my favorite series, mainly because it was the book that contained the blue squad from the awesome squad days of the X-MEN. So until my collection hits the GOLD and BLUE teams, I’ve decided to do this every other day. I also plan on starting the CHARLES VS. MARVEL very soon, because I have a lot of books that take place in the rest of the MARVEL U(mainly Spidey,F4,AVENGERS) so you’ll get to see more photoshopped images of myself against other MARVEL mainstays…but it’s all CHARLES VS. MARVEL.

So here we go again….

UNCANNY X-MEN #235

UNCANNY X-MEN #235, vol.1, 1988

A GREEN AND PLEASANT LAND

WRITER:CHRIS CLAREMONT

ARTIST: RICK LEONARDI

INKER: P. CRAIG RUSSEL

COLORIST:GLYNIS OLIVER

LETTERER: TOM ORZECHOWSKI

EDITOR:BOB HARRAS

E.I.C: TOM DeFALCO

So by the cover you get the idea that this rag tag, slightly powerful team of X-MEN are up against a group of dudes with guns. Considering that only three people on the team aren’t affected by bullets…this should be interesting.

• We open up with a giant sign telling us WELCOME TO GENOSHA, now considering this would have been the first I would have heard of GENOSHA I would have been able to tell that something about this place isn’t right. In front of the sign, placed right under the word FREEDOM(subtle Claremont) is a blonde haired man with a baby. I can’t tell if this man is dumb or just not used to the english language, because his speech is pretty weird.
• the man see some lights and runs towards them, it seems to be a airport. Then all of a sudden he sees helicopters and seems frightened and calls them MAGISTRATES. He easily jumps over the electrified fence.
• The man stops at a plane with a kangaroo on it…wonder where it’s going? He places his son in the cargo hold and tells him goodbye…kind of reminds me of SUPERMAN with this stuff. Someone sees the man and he starts to run to draw attention away from his hidden son. He runs straight towards the MAGISTRATE’S helicopters.
• The MAGISTRATE’s call the running man a mutant…of course! We also get treated to the new GENOSHA slang for mutants…gene jokes. Now if their is a off sect of the human species that has the powers of gods…are they really a joke? Nope didn’t think so. The MAGISTRATE’s start to shoot at the running man, who then stops and tosses a armed truck at the helicopters.
• More helicopters and armed trucks arrive and they shoot the man, but he’s still barely alive. Turns out this guy has escaped from someone they name the GENEGINEER. The man dies as he sees his son’s plane take off.
• we see a close up of the headline for an Australian newspaper:Baby found in jet. Three mysterious individuals are sitting outside a jet in the middle of the outback. They talk about the baby and some girl named JENNIFER RANSOME(nice last name…lol) who seems to have escaped GENOSHA. Through the boring chit chat, we get the three strangers codenames: PUNCHOUT(large, black female in sport tights), PIPELINE(Chubby kid), and HENSHAW(some dapper dressed man). It seems they’ve set a trap for Ms. RANSOME as they stop talking as a plane apporaches.
• Inside the plane MADELYNE PRYOR is flying JENNIFER towards the jet. It seems JENNIFER was called thinking that there was someone hurt to help. When they get off the plane, HENSHAW says that he can’t get a reading off of MADELYNE(what?). They spring the trap and grab JENNIFER, MADELYNE tosses sand in HENSHAW’s eyes and runs away.
• MADELYNE goes for the radio in her plane and calls ROGUE. PUNCHOUT grabs the plane and tosses it into a abandoned building. The plane explodes just as MADELYNE jumps out.
• MADELYNE is pushed into the plane by PUNCHOUT. HENSHAW has JENNIFER inside the plane. PIPELINE is sitting at the computer and we learn that GENOSHA government has the very odd idea that no matter what your a GENOSHIAN citizen. PIPELINE is pressing aways on some haggard looking keyboard, and he zaps JENNIFER into the computer…what? He has the power to reduce things to binary electronic impulses….wow. PIPELINE sets his sights on MADELYNE…for a human she sure gets into a lot of situations hanging out with the X-MEN.
• ROGUE flies up to the wreckage of MADELYNE’s plane. She’s communicating with PSYLOCKE to show her the location. GATEWAY creates a portal and WOLVERINE and STORM pop out. Wolverine seems to not be taking this too seriously because he’s just in a tank top and some khaki’s.
• WOLVERINE doesn’t smell any dead bodies and gets a sent, but it just disappears. Back in the AUSTRALIAN hideout, the rest of the X-MEN are crowed around a computer. HAVOK gets all touchy about MADELYNE’s role in the AUSSIE X-MEN…weird, HAVOK loves going after his older brothers sloppy seconds.
• Next thing we know the rest of the X-MEN pop out at a airport. Um what? DAZZLER’s at least brought WOLVERINE and STORM’s uniforms.
• WOLVERINE tracks the scents of the three baddies to a hospital. ROGUE and WOLVERINE go in first undercover(why those two, you chose the girl with red hair, skunk stripe mullet). They try to go into the pediatrics ward, but are stopped by a disguised PUNCHOUT.
• WOLVERINE recognizes the scent and clocks PUNCHOUT. PUNCHOUT hits WOLVERINE in the jaw, and wonders why her hand hurts…adamantium of course. PUNCHOUT tries to punch ROGUE, but ROGUE catches her hand and sucks her powers out, knocking PUNCHOUT for the lack of a better word out.
• ROGUE’s physique changes to that of PUNCHOUT’s. With ROGUE’s power she knows the bad guys are grabbing the baby. WOLVERINE takes exception to that and runs into a dark room to see HENSHAW and PIPELINE. WOLVERINE rushes them and HENSHAW starts to shoot, but of course it doesn’t do anything to him. WOLVERINE unsheathes his claws and goes after HENSHAW.
• PIPELINE ports in a soldier into the dark room and with what seems to be a regular gun knocks out two of the most powerful members of the X-MEN. ROGUE and WOLVERINE are blasted out of the window. PIPELINE wants to get aways asap, but HENSHAW says that they can’t leave PUNCHOUT behind. PIPELINE calls in more MAGISTRATES.
• We go outside to the rest of the X-MEN. PSYLOCKE says she’s lost contact with ROGUE and WOLVIE. DAZZLER is pretty nervous that two of their most powerful members were taken out. PSYLOCKE tells the remaining team that the bad guys are now hunting them. All of a sudden the MAGISTRATES show up and open fire. COLOSSUS tells his friends to get behind him, but strangley DAZZLER says nuts to that.
• DAZZLER starts to create a strobe to blind the MAGISTRATES. LONGSHOT and DAZZLER follow behind COLOSSUS while they run towards the MAGISTRATES. STORM has broken off from the group and is creating a thick fog to hide PSYLOCKE and HAVOK from the MAGISTRATES.
• HAVOK and PSYLOCKE are trying to get away(I think) when more MAGISTRATES ambush them. HAVOK goes crazy and starts to attack the MAGISTRATES. STORM is flying high above the two battles and seems to just be thinking and flying. COLOSSUS takes out two MAGISTRATES that broke off from the group.
• While COLOSSUS is fighting the MAGISTRATES, some civilians show up and distract them. The MAGISTRATES take the opportunity and toss some grenades at COLOSSUS. LONGSHOT grabs them and with his crazy luck gets them to COLOSSUS just before they explode. LONGSHOT takes out the fleeing MAGISTRATES. For some reason they’re surprised that guys who shot without warning are willing to hurt civilians to get away.
• BIG SPLASH PAGE of the X-MEN (all of a sudden back together) take out the MAGISTRATES.
• We see HENSHAW and PIPELINE helping PUNCHOUT away from the fight. They find the unconcious WOLVERINE and ROGUE. They decide to take ROGUE (good idea…no it’s not. You capture a girl who obviously has friends…you really want them to find you and shut your crap down) back to the GENEGINEER.
• The MAGISTRATES have been tied up in a couple of girders. The police have arrived and talk about Australia having their own heroes, and that whoever pissed them off is in for some big trouble…some pretty thinly veiled themes that will.

Okay issue overrall. Now we’ve got a reason for the X-MEN to be pissed. Because they basically failed.

Spielberg’s Tintin Status

There are conflicting reports over director Steven Spielberg’s involvement with Tintin, the motion-capture trilogy collaboration between himself and fellow Oscar winner Peter Jackson.

It was first reported yesterday that, according to rights holder Herge Studios, Jackson would direct the first installment and “Spielberg, who had been tabbed to direct the first installment of the would-be franchise, will now be only indirectly involved in the filming.”

However, it was then reported hours later that Herge Studios was mistaken and that “both Jackson’s and Spielberg’s representatives say that Jackson will direct the sequel and serve as a producer on the first film.” Tintin will be Spielberg’s next directing effort following this summer’s Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

The comics series, penned by Herge (a.k.a. George Remi), follows the globe-trotting adventures of young journalist Tintin (Thomas Sangster) and his various companions — particularly his dog Snowy and his pal the sea-dog Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis). The first Tintin film will reportedly be based on two of the books, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham’s Treasure. Doctor Who veteran Stephen Moffat penned the screenplay.

Spielberg informed IGN last year that the film will be shot entirely with motion-capture technology, which is familiar to Jackson after King Kong and the Lord of the Rings films but still relatively new to Spielberg. The director said that each filmmaker will shoot 30 days of motion-capture: Spielberg would shoot his in the United States, while Jackson would shoot in New Zealand. Spielberg also said that the special effects will be produced by Jackson’s Weta Workshop, but a high-speed internet connection between the two locations will allow the production to receive and process images quickly.

-IGN.COM

WWE RAW 8-25-08

• World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk def. JBL in a non-title match
• Kelly Kelly def. WWE Women’s Champion Beth Phoenix
• Primo Colon def. “Charlito”
• World Tag Team Champions Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase def. Jerry “The King” Lawler & “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan
• Intercontinental Champion Santino Marella def. Kofi Kingston
• Batista def. Kane by disqualification

 

 

WORLD CHAMPION-CM PUNK vs. JBL

• So we’re going with this match first thing? Wow, although JBL is supremely boring in the ring and on the mic, but to have the World Champion as the curtain jerker on the flag ship show….wow. Not a terribley great match, pretty normal JBL style match. Hopefully the next match will be more interesting or better.

Next up is….oh wow…not an awesome start.

KELLY KELLY vs. WOMAN’S CHAMPION- BETH PHOENIX w/ SANTINO MARELLA

• OK, anytime Marella is on screen makes RAW better, but I wish they’d stop doing the they look tentitive and kiss bit. It’s boring. But I have to say KELLY KELLY actually did a good job with the wrestling…surprising. With KELLY winning was actually surprising.

They introduced PRIMO COLON(Carlito’s brother)…It would be a good idea to get rid of the trench coat with no sleeves…it’s lame. Hopefully they give him a actual personality, other than being Carlito’s good guy brother…that’s kinda boring and hard to get behind, unless you bring back Carlito to feud with his little brother. Now I’d watch that.

I’m also going to skip the totally pointless to have the Tag Champs fight JERRY LAWLER and JIM DUGGAN…it was a match just to get to the promo at the end…that actually was funny. JTG calling TED DIBIASE a ’silly white boy’ was freaking hilarious.

The HBK/Jericho feud is getting long in the tooth. I always get bored when they try to pull a serious storyline, when we all know wrestling is fake. Just come on and pull the trigger, this is by far my least favorite HBK or Jericho feud ever.

Finally we get to a actually interesting match although I know how it’s going to end.

 

INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

KOFFI KINGSTON vs. SANTINO MARELLA(c)

• This is for the belt, but we all know they’re not going to take off the belt off of their comedy gold, in SANTINO. I feel bad for KOFI, he was on a stellar push…but he’s just kinda one note. At least SANTINO is actually funny. This is the match of the night, in interest level and storyline progression.

We get the news that REY MYSTERIO is going to be in the Championship Scramble, because CENA’s hurt…which doesn’t fit into the lame storyline they were setting up with KANE…RAW needs to get tighter, the storylines…which drive this male soap opera…are SUCKING LATELY.

So now we get the MAIN EVENT…oh yay, this is going to be just two big dudes in the ring…ugh, I never thought I’d miss JOHN CENA.

MAIN EVENT

BATISTA VS. KANE

• So that happened…it ends in a DQ, and with that they literally wasted the last 10 minutes of the show. That’s the way I feel when they end a NON TITLE Main Event with a DQ, it’s lame. With them not going with the obvious feud that should have happened two months ago, they finally have a one on one match and this is what we get…BOOO. I want CENA back! LOL.

CHARLES’ GRADE: D

PROS:SANTINO MARELLA was funny as usual.And the Beth Phoenix and KELLY KELLY match was the 2nd best match of the night…sad but funny.

CONS:Every match kinda blowed.