Not Your Usual Review Site

LATE NIGHT MADNESS: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE? NOT THIS BOY, BUT I DO ADMIT SHES HOT

ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE? NOT THIS BOY, BUT I DO ADMIT SHE'S HOT

Back in 2006 I was trolling around the movie trailer section of APPLE.COM, as I often used to be known to do. Usually I’d come across a title that struck my fancy, and back in 2006 a random move called ‘ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE’. I clicked right away because the title interested me, so I watched this trailer that reminded me of old school GRINDHOUSE movies. When I was a kid I’d watch random late night movie blocks that would usually(on the weekend) have at least one horror movie that could be identified as a GRINDHOUSE movie. I didn’t like them all that much, but they were eye opening in what not to do in a movie…to me. So when I saw this trailer with a group of teenage kids getting taken out in the middle of nowhere, I was down for the cause because this is the kind of horror movie I grew up on in the 80’s. The thing is this movie never came out. I heard it played around the festival circuit, but nothing ever came from it. Color me surprised when I happened upon a actual copy, a Swedish subtitled copy, of the movie. I literally had to think pretty hard to even remember this movie. When I remembered that this movie trailer was the first time I’d seen this new blonde haired girl (AMBER HEARD) that ended up being in a few recent releases(NEVER BACK DOWN, REMEMBER THE DAZE, PINEAPPLE EXPRESS) I quickly procured it. So it was about 1 a.m and I was looking for something to watch and I came across ‘ALL THE BOYS…’ again and said what the hell. So about a hour and a half later I turned off my PS3 and made a face that could closely be related to the “I smell poo water” face. The movies not bad, it’s just not enjoyable. It’s a movie that cribs from the GRINDHOUSE genre and the teenage slasher. The main character, MANDY LANE, is like every other female protagonist in these type of movies. She’s distant from the group and inexplicably is friends with a bunch of kids who are generally vapid and mean spirited. It’s always been a weird thing in these type of movie, you isolate the female protagonist so that when the crap hits the fan she’s on her own…well that would usually be true but not in this movie. This movie plays with expectations, but doesn’t do it in a functional way. Things happen at the end that aren’t really explained, we’re just supposed to take it at face value and don’t get any scene showing how it was set up. I did like the aesthetic choices with the cinematography. The movie is shot in a way that works for me in a purely visual way. Think of the way the original TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE was shot, but add some DV and some FINAL PRO…and you have ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANDY LANE. On the same high note, this movie has one of my all time favorite posters. Something about it just works for me, too bad I can’t say so about the movie. It’s not a overall bad movie, it just putters and gives up at the end. That being said the music and visuals as the movie ends and the credits begin to roll are awesome and on the money for the old school feel the movie gives off.

CHARLES’ GRADE:C-

PROS:CINEMATOGRAPHY, MUSIC CHOICES

CONS: STORY/MOVIE JUST PUTTERS ALONG BETWEEN KILLING AND DRUG USE, THE END MOVIE DOUBLE SWERVE

One of my new favorite movie posters

One of my new favorite movie posters

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