Not Your Usual Review Site

CHARLES VS. THE X-MEN #3

So here’s where my collection takes it first sabatical, it looks like even as a child I didn’t like Marvel’s big events. The issues I don’t have in my collection contain the huge ‘INFERNO’ storyline. Here’s what wiki had to say-

Jean Grey‘s clone, Madelyne Pryor was taken in by the demons S’ym and N’astirh. They planned for a demonic invasion of Earth, beginning with Manhattan. Illyana Rasputin of the New Mutants began to mutate into a demon and N’astirh tricked her into opening a gateway. The city of Manhattan fell under siege, and the Avengers, Fantastic Four, Daredevil, Power Pack, and Spider-Man had to fight numerous demons, most importantly Hobgoblin, now possessed by a demon that did not disappear with the others when the crisis was over, and the mutant-hating Boogeyman, transformed into a monster by N’astirh. Even objects became demonically tainted and people’s souls became twisted. Havok, Dazzler, Wolverine, Longshot, Archangel, and Storm all fell to the darkness to some extent. Some civilians weren’t so lucky; some were maimed, others were simply killed and/or devoured.

As shown in Daredevil, life tried to continue as normal in the city. Buses still ran, under an all-volunteer force since the drivers had been eaten. Subways functioned, though Daredevil had to save one from being sucked into the depths of Hell. Stores still sold products. Helicopter tours ran.

Other parts of the city did not function as well. The Daily Bugle was under siege, though fortunately for the untrained civilians and an injured Spider-Man inside, the demons shattered under one blow. Demons attack Osborn Chemical, and Harry Osborn puts on his Green Goblin trappings to defend it.

The New Mutants finally convinced Illyana to give up her powers and seal the gate. This eradicated most of the demons, but Madelyne Pryor and her servants remained, and many parts of the city remained demonically transmogrified. Jean Grey battled her clone. Weary, Madelyne let herself die and New York returned to normal. The X-Men then went after Madelyne’s creator, Mister Sinister, who was responsible for the manipulations which led to Madelyne’s creation. Cyclops blasted Sinister to bits, though he inexplicably returned later, as did Madelyne Pryor.

Despite all of the destruction and death, many human Inferno survivors were convinced it was all a shared hallucination.

-wikipedia.com

Yeah I actually own a couple X-FACTOR books that took place during INFERNO and disliked the storyline so much I took time off from the X-MEN and MARVEL to read Batman and Superman books. I just don’t care for demon stories in my mainstream comics, it’s not my thing. But as soon as INFERNO was done I picked up this issue because the cover looked awesome for the times and it ironically introduced a character I’d come to really love.

So once again it’s CHARLES VS. THE X-MEN…

LADIES NIGHT

UNCANNY X-MEN #244: LADIES NIGHT


UNCANNY X-MEN #244 vol 1, 1989

Ladies’ Night

Writer: Chris Claremont

Artist: Marc Silvestri

Inker: Dan Green

Colorist: Glynis Oliver

Letterer: Tom Orzechowski

Editor: Bob Harras

E.I.C: Tom DeFalco

The cover was pretty striking when I was 7 years old, now it’s pretty cheesy. The fact that the girls actually run down the villains they’ve fought against is pretty heavy handed.

  • We start out in the Hollywood Mall, with a group being entertained by who you’d guess to be DAZZLER by the look of the lights.
  • Well it’s not DAZZLER, it’s JUBILEE(yes that JUBILEE and this is her 1st appearance) who’s conducting the light show. Surprisingly the people surrounding her seem to be pretty cool with a girl creating “fireworks” out of her hand. JUBILEE calls them articulate, quasi-animate, transitory plasmoids…which I don’t understand how a 14-16 year old would know that. It looks like some rent-a-cops are watching this display and one of them has a stick up his butt about JUBILEE.
  • They charge JUBILEE and she blinds them and runs away, where she some how seems to bounce along the ground like SPEEDBALL.
  • As JUBILEE runs away some rad late 80’s skater dudes help her out and trip up the security. She runs up the escalator and inexplicably slides through a guards legs and off the top floor of the mall to a hanging mobile. She then in Spider-man fashion lands on the ground running.
  • Now we’re back in Australia at the X-Men’s outback hideout. A huge explosion blows out of a shack. DAZZLER proceeds to tell us that there’s been an explosion. A bed flies out of the hole and by the language it’s easy to tell it’s ROGUE. Dazzler knocks the bed off course with a quick eye beam shot and it almost hits STORM.
  • STORM tries to change direction and flies into a open window where PSYLOCKE is taking a bath.
  • We’re now back outside and stuff is flying out of the gaping hole, while COLOSSUS and DAZZLER try to reason with ROGUE. STORM lands and tries to talk to STORM. ROGUE plops on the floor like a child and complains that CAROL DANVERS has been taking over body changing her room so that it doesn’t even feel like it’s hers.
  • ROGUE tries to ask PSYLOCKE to wipe CAROL DANVERS out of her head, but PSYLOCKE won’t do it. STORM yells at her and tells her that CAROL being in ROGUE’s mind is her own fault. ROGUE freaks out and yells at them that they’ll never forgive her for her being with the BROTHERHOOD OF EVIL mutants. ROGUE goes to fly out of the room, but CAROL takes over ROGUE’s body and stops her.
  • CAROL DANVERS/ROGUE starts to go on about why she’s starting to take control more and more, it seems that when ROGUE was sent to GENOSHA she was stripped of her powers and was almost taken advantage of so she took over because ROGUE wouldn’t talk to her….pretty heavy stuff for a seven year old, hunh?
  • CAROL’s having a problem with the fact that she’s sharing a body with ROGUE and she has none of the same tastes as her…so sad. DAZZLER starts going off on the fact that they live like slobs and that they don’t really get to enjoy life outside fighting for mutant kind. So how do thought dead mutant woman heroes deal with stress? They go shopping. I noticed that COLOSSUS just disappears, I guess even a steel plated man doesn’t want to hear the yelling of a woman.
  • Back at the HOLLYWOOD MALL a large green car pulls up with what seems to be missles on the top of the car…now I guess the cops don’t care if you drive a car with missles on the roof, only in Hollywood I guess. The car screeches to a halt and out pop four super nerds holding weapons. They announce that the M-SQUAD is here. I can’t believe these are the dangerous foes from the cover, they do not live up to the hype. Across the mall the X-LADIES are teleported in by GATEWAY. You have a aborigini who can teleport you anywhere in the world and you decide to go to L.A, not Paris…wow, think big ladies.
  • For whatever reason JUBILEE is back in the mall and she sees the X-LADIES appear out of nowhere, so of course when you see strange women appear from no where and you decide to follow them…only in hollywood. DAZZLER takes all the girls to get new hairdo’s, I guess international pop star pays well.  The snotty “woman?” doesn’t care for STORM’s awful hairstyle and they start cutting, which of course shocks the two prudes(PSYLOCKE-before the asian reimagining, and CAROL DANVERS/ROGUE). As they walk out JUBILEE is still following them.
  • DAZZLER is trying on some new clothes and gets STORM some make-up and watches as ROGUE/CAROL DANVERS tries on the dress and makes light of the fact that she’s taken over ROGUE’s body. PSYLOCKE come out in a low cut dress and of course the ladies love it.
  • The guards are talking to the M-SQUAD and they pull out some fancy equipment and run into JUBILEE while the X-LADIES are in a male strip club, that’s oddly in a mall.
  • DAZZLER sets it up so that STORM is brought up on stage. JUBILEE blasts the M-SQUAD with her “fireworks” and they start up some strange, giant machine…how they got it in there I don’t know. The machine starts to shoot out energy threads that cause a explosion in the mall’s male stripper club. The X-LADIES go check it out.
  • The energy threads grab JUBILEE and start to pull her into it. The X-LADIES spring into taction to save JUBILEE. The M-SQUAD decides to finish off all the mutants and rush them.
  • The M-SQUAD starts to blast, but the X-LADIES don’t really seem to scared(like the cover). PSYLOCKE grabs JUBILEE. A random thread hits the mobile thingy in the mall and it almost falls on top of two children, but ROGUE flies in a saves them.
  • PSYLOCKE is starting to get pulled into the giant machine thing with JUBILEE, but she gives one last pull and breaks free. STORM uses a hurrican force wind to toss the giant machine through the mall roof and into the air. DAZZLER blasts it to pieces in the sky.
  • The M-SQUAD is getting the riot act from the police andd in big trouble. The X-LADIES look around for JUBILEE who’s gone missing. They head back through another GATEWAY portal. Then right before it closes JUBILEE jumps through it.

NEXT: MEN

At the end of this issue I realized something…this X-MEN team only has two three men. It also seems that WOLVERINE and HAVOK are totally incognito from the book after INFERNO, they didn’t make one cameo. I can see why my collection around this time is all over the place, I don’t really care for the weak OUTBACK team of this time period.

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